It’s been a whirlwind of an offseason in the MLB and we’ve only got a few more weeks to wrap our minds around it. Thanks to the transaction-happy owners, we need to sit down and simplify (like, down to 5 words) the consequences of all of these deals. So whether you’re a new fan of the MLB, an old fan trying to figure out what happened over the last few months, or a significant other trying to act like you know what you’re talking about, this article should meet your needs. There’s also a chance that citing any of my opinions on these teams will just make you sound ignorant around your MLB-savvy friends, but that’s a risk I’ve come to terms with.