“Adulting is hard.”
On many occasions I’ve heard that all-too-common phrase interposed with dread over a long to-do list or alongside the stress that comes with one too many responsibilities. In many ways, that is a fair assumption to make about adult life—as adults, there are so many things to be responsible for that sometimes it feels like it’s all we can do just to reach the bare minimum. It’s as if, at any moment, we won’t be able to stay on top of everything anymore and we’ll be deemed irresponsible or inadequate.
It comes as no surprise, then, that, as adults, we often find ourselves tense, stressed and unable to relax on a daily basis. Maybe some of us even look nostalgically to the days of a carefree childhood when adulting wasn’t even an issue that crossed our minds. The question is, is there a way to enjoy our adulthood without that level of stress and pressure constantly weighing on us? Can adulting be more than just hard? My answer is a resounding yes.
Chances are that a lot of our stress and inability to relax comes from trying to take control of areas of our lives that, in reality, we don’t have a lot of power over. Our actions do have an impact on what happens, so it might seem like we have a lot of power over our own circumstances; however, while our actions do have consequences and influence, trying to micromanage our own lives may lead to more stress than it does good.
Of course, in a lot of ways, trying to manage our own lives makes sense. We don’t want to get bad grades or get fired, so we study harder and do our best at our jobs. We want to have friends, so we take the time to make conversation. We want to be liked, so we avoid doing unlikeable things.
At the same time, there’s a big difference between trying our best because it’s the right thing to do and holding on so tightly to a certain desired outcome that we can never relax until that certain outcome is accomplished. Whether it’s trying to maintain our identity or reach a certain goal, trying to have too much control in our lives is not only counterproductive but also simply exhausting.
Of course we should study hard, try our best at our jobs, talk to people and avoid being overly disagreeable, but when our goal in each of those things is to maintain a reputation or to get some kind of a result out of it, we are left tired and stressed, and the things that used to give us so much enjoyment and pleasure can quickly become a burden.
Instead, there is something absolutely freeing about surrendering the outcome of everything we do to God, knowing that no matter what we do between the beginning and the end of the day, our identity will not change and our destiny is not ours to manipulate. When we try to control our own lives and good things happen, we feel great; but when bad things inevitably happen, we suddenly feel insecure and begin to get defensive and make excuses.
On the other hand, when the pressure is removed from us, we can do our best at school, at work and in our social circles without so much pressure to reach our overly-high expectations for ourselves. Then, when we do make mistakes (which we will), we can simply get back up again, make apologies and amends where necessary, and try again. If we give God the glory whenever we do succeed, the pressure is no longer on ourselves, and we don’t have to worry about fulfilling some newfound expectations to keep succeeding in that one particular area.
Yes, adulting is hard. The older we get, the more responsibilities we have, but with those responsibilities come privileges and opportunities we never had before. We can have real conversations with people, get involved in the community around us and do so many things we never could have done before in our earlier lives.
Instead of squandering our adult years fretting over perfectly fulfilling our responsibilities and maintaining a pristine reputation, what if we were to truly surrender everything to God and leave the results up to Him?
When we truly don’t care about accumulating glory for ourselves, a weight is suddenly lifted off of us and we can more thoroughly enjoy our adult lives. Will we feel stress sometimes? Absolutely, but we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves when we do.
There is something freeing about going through all the responsibilities that come with adulthood with child-like faith and surrender to our heavenly Father, because, in doing so, life suddenly becomes so much more enjoyable. Adulting is hard, but it doesn’t have to be quite so stressful.