As a senior, something I am noticing a lot on campus is a lack of contentment, both in my own daily life and in others. Personally, I have become unappreciative of my surroundings. I complain about how many core classes I have to take, or how time consuming homework is, or how I never have time to do the fun things I want to do.
The list of “if onlys” keeps growing, too. If only I had an eight to five job, I wouldn’t have to worry so much about getting so many things done after work. If only I had less assignments, I could finally read that book that’s been sitting on my shelf for ages. If only I had more time, I could spend it with my friends down the mountain instead of being so stressed about meeting deadlines. I could go on.
My list may be different from yours, but I’m guessing we all have that voice inside us, sounding out those “unattainable” things we think would make us better off. Maybe yours starts with if only I had more friends, or if only I got that scholarship, or if only I had gone to a public university. Whatever it is, it is almost always cynical and it is never productive.
The grass is always greener on the other side, right? Maybe not.
When I came to Covenant as a freshman, I remember having a conversation with a girl who was a senior at the time about how she had grown cynical towards a lot of things involved in being a Covenant student. I was surprised at the time; I was nothing but excited about coming here. Getting to live in a dorm, make new friends, take interesting classes and go to chapel three times a week sounded absolutely amazing (yes, I loved chapel as a freshman and I still do — ask me about that another time).
So what changed?
Honestly, nothing but my perspective has changed. I am a few years older which is different, but as far as how I look at Covenant College, the only thing I see as changing is my own heart. I have become cynical because I have become restless, always looking forward to planning my future or backward to the things I could have done.
Talking with some of my fellow classmates and friends has made me realize I may not be the only one with this problem. It is easy to focus anywhere but the present, especially during a year where sometimes the only words that seem to enter our conversations are “your future is coming soon” and “what are your plans?”
I am not saying it is bad to plan the future and be excited about what the Lord has in store for us, or to occasionally look back and learn from where we have been as students and how we can grow. But I am saying I think we often forget to be content with where the Lord has us right now.
Covenant College is where God has placed me. When I look outward and upward, I am reminded of the blessings here that He has given me — classes that point me towards faith in Christ, professors that care about my well being, roommates who look out for me in the good and the bad, and the constant reminder that no matter where I go or what I do, I will always be a child of God.
How often do we forget to look for the little blessings God gives us every day? We are quick to complain, and slow to be thankful. Even if it is true that our current circumstances are painful or stressful, those things are meant to draw us near to the Lord. Being cynical about the difficulties does not make them go away, but only enhances them.
In searching for contentment, I have been consistently reminded of what Paul says in Philippians 4:10-13. He is speaking to the Philippians about his thankfulness for their concern for him. However, afterwards he says something unexpected.
He writes, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am in to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
In every place we go, things of this world will lose their sparkle. I am not a wide-eyed, excited freshman anymore. Covenant College is not new, and it is not permanent. The things I have to do can be stressful and can feel endless, mundane, and time consuming, but only when I let myself forget who brought me here.
Christ never loses his sparkle. If we are seeking to glorify him in everything that we do, finding that contentment that Paul talks about becomes a whole lot easier.
My hope for the rest of my time at Covenant is that I will no longer be cynical and unappreciative of the unique education I have been given the opportunity to receive, but instead look for the little blessings that the Lord bestows upon me here every day. I hope that as a student body, we all can learn to be more content with the beautiful mountains, the foggy mornings, the discipline of studying, the ups and downs of friendship, and anything else that the Lord gives us here at Covenant College.