An interview with Sarah Erickson (‘17) about leading the Same-Sex Attraction Support group here at Covenant.
Photo by Rachel Haines '24.
What is the origin of the same-sex attraction support group?
In the Fall of 2020, I spoke on a conversation panel and shared some of my story, which included experiences with same-sex attraction. Afterward, students began reaching out to me and shared their own similar struggles. These meetings shared a repeated theme: these students felt lonely, ashamed and isolated.
While trying to live faithfully to the historic biblical sexual ethic, they found they lacked support from their peers. Some friends encouraged them to embrace their attractions (along with mainstream culture), while other friends didn’t know how to engage, which made them feel awkward and ashamed. This led to them feeling pressure to never talk about it, fearing they’d be misunderstood.
So, students were being pushed on both sides as they tried to walk the narrowing path of faithfulness alone. It was through these meetings that a core group of students formed, and we brainstormed creating a place where students who experience same-sex attraction can have a place to encourage each other.
As we started to plan, we created a mission statement, a statement of belief, a process for members to join, and what each meeting would entail. All throughout the planning process, I reported and heavily consulted the Sexuality Committee, and our plans were shared with the Cabinet and Board before we started meeting in Fall 2021.
What is the purpose of the group?
Our Mission Statement is: to be a community pursuing biblical discernment, hope and faithfulness through the gospel. We offer a place for students who struggle with same-sex attraction to be loved and supported in their commitment to the historic biblical sexual ethic and also experience a vibrant community resting in the hope of the renewal of all things.
Borrowing the words from the PCA’s Report of the Ad Interim Committee on Human Sexuality (2020), we exist as Christians who share in our common struggle of same-sex attraction and gather together for mutual accountability, exhortation and encouragement. The end goal of the group is for each member to grow in their relationship with Jesus through surrendering to his beautiful and gracious lordship over the whole of our lives.
What have been some challenges with the group?
As we started to plan, I definitely had my reservations. On one hand, I knew something had to be done to support these students—something I wish I had as a student. But on the other hand, I knew it would be tough to protect it and do it well. There is a history of these groups going poorly at Christian colleges—even ones that start out with the best intentions.
I remember initially not making any firm promises to the core group of students. But after pitching the idea to the sexuality committee, they agreed it would be a challenge but thought it was worth figuring out. That was so encouraging to me; not only did they see the vision but were committed to helping me implement it. Their wisdom, discretion and guidance has been invaluable to me from the very beginning—and is still very much needed!
The other challenge we were well aware of at the beginning was how to protect the group members’ stories and anonymity. We knew that showing up to every meeting ran the risk of someone finding out. While I’m so thankful God has protected our group from gossip, it has been a growing opportunity for us all to protect and honor each other by using discretion. This helped us practice something that I think our campus can grow in.
What is the purpose of the sexuality committee, and what is your role on it?
The committee was originally formed by President Voyles to help review and revise the sexual conduct and identity sections in the student handbook. Beyond just policy, the committee also oversees programming to ensure that the campus is engaging in relevant conversations concerning sexuality.
The current members are Jon Wylie, Stephanie Formenti, Nicole Walters, Hannah Leander, John Wingard, Hans Madueme, Rod Wilson and myself. I first served on the committee as a student and rejoined when I returned to campus as an employee. We don’t always get it right, but it's so encouraging to me to serve alongside men and women who really love this campus and trust and enjoy Jesus.
What topics have you discussed with students?
Codependency and same-sex attraction have been much of what I’ve shared with students just because that is such a large part of my story, especially while in college. I’ve also met with students who are seeking wisdom in how to engage with friends and relatives who are supportive of or a part of LGBTQ+ communities. I’ve talked with students about dating and marriage. I’ve more recently enjoyed the conversations with students about gender, particularly what it means to be a woman and feminine.
I’ve found all these topics are most fruitful one on one—when you can stop and ask questions and wrestle through the tricky (and exciting!) nuances. Relationships of all sorts can be difficult, and it's been a joy to help students navigate them. Plus, people’s unique stories are important to me—and to Jesus!
What has your experience been like facilitating the support group?
I have been blown away by students in the group and their commitment, both to honoring Jesus and loving each other. It takes a lot of courage and conviction to be able to show up to these meetings. I have left the meetings humbled and encouraged more than I ever imagined I would. It’s been so beautiful to be able to walk alongside students who deeply love Jesus and love each other. Learning how to trust God with your whole self is a necessary, sobering and powerful experience. I firmly believe those faithfully submitting their sexuality to Christ are an essential part of the church.