Belonging.
Something we all strive for, but few achieve,
Whether we seek friends, family, companionship,
We float at the edge, never entering, wanting…
A Home…
Familiarity…
But never achieving it.
We look for that one group,
The people who care for us,
Who we see every day,
Who make us feel…
Belonged to.
When will we ever find it here?
Not on this earth.
The only thing for us here is
Lonely melancholy.
Addendum:
What does it mean, “belonging?”
To belong to is not to have, but to be had.
We search not for a place to be, but to be searched for.
We all have wants.
We want to rest, to sleep, to dream.
We want to taste, to feed, to be nourished.
We want to love, to hold, to feel.
Tonight, I am alone.
I am in comfort, I am fed, I am rested.
I love…but I am not loved in return.
I no longer long to simply love!
I long to be loved in return!
I long to be looked for, to be missed!
I pray this not from any sense of self-accomplishment.
I know my heart and all I deserve, tis true.
My life is nestled within the Lord, I ought not to want for anything,
But still.
Why do I enter the house of the LORD, the family of Christ, the eternal brotherhood…and am yet alone?
Written 16 April 2020, at the height of Covid-19 quarantine.
Addendum added 28 February 2021.