My heart is beating fast as new worries flood my mind,
As all this confidence I had I’ve somehow left behind.
For God, there is so much that I know I need to do,
With fervency I want to go, to where I have no clue,
Yet I look at myself and I think with fear and shame,
God, I’m not perfect for your tasks, why do you call my name?
I have this passion for His work, but scared to do it all,
I wonder anxiously, what if I fail or fall?
I want to be one who builds up, I want to share the Name,
But what if I just hurt someone, and I’d be there to blame?
What if I lose my friends, what if I lose my pride,
What if I fail miserably even though I tried?
What if I lose it all, what if the risk’s too high?
What if God didn’t call me, what if I question why?
I lay awake still struggling, I ask God to come near,
And He, faithful, still the same, says “I am always here.”
I ask Him how to face the risks which ominously come my way,
And He tells me that the risks I fear are risks I take each day.
I may fear doing big things for God, but I don’t always fear the small,
If I can risk the little things, why can’t I risk it all?
I picture this big breakthrough where God will change my heart,
Where all my fear will vanish and I’ll be perfect from the start.
But then I realize that, in truth, God never had that plan.
Confidence in God does not mean always knowing that I can.
It doesn’t mean I’ll have the strength to break through every wall,
But that I know at some point there will be times I’ll fall.
Even through my faltering, I happily will find
That God works all for good, in deed, in thought, in mind.
I might mess up, fail utterly, cause strife or hurt or pain,
But no matter what, I know for sure God’s love will stay the same.
I’ll do my best, try to the end, and when I make mistakes,
I’ll do what I can to make amends and consequences take.
I know that I’m not perfect, but I won’t idly let life go by
Because better to try and fail than to fail and never try.
What could I ever truly lose, precious, big, or small
When I have none to own as mine, when I’ve surrendered all?